You n Me *smiles

Couldn't express myself properly in words so let the song and lyrics to the talking ...
So true~ when you are at the brink of almost loosing it, it is that moment on you will treasure everything..
Just so you know, my life is what it is now because all of you played a part in it and I wouldn't want to have it any other way


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LpW0N5zeHU&feature=related

When you're close to tears remember
Someday it'll all be over
One day we're gonna get so high
Though it's darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
Remember the way
We stayed so close to the end
We'll remember it was me and you

Cause we are gonna be
Forever, you and me
You will
Always keep it flying high in the sky
Of love

Don't you think it's time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
Cause even the impossible
Is easy when we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high

Cause we are gonna be
Forever, you and me
You will
Always keep it flying high in the sky
Of love...

-Lighthouse Family- High

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Where did the year go?! Its Christmas already! Well, I believe Christmas has different meanings to everyone. To me, Christmas is a time where snow will fall down from the skies, where snowman is build, turkey is served, cookies are munched, reindeer and St Nick ruled the skies and not to forget about those colorful packages under the Christmas tree~ really Christmas to me is magical.

That was my interpretion of Christmas. But as I grew up the meaning of Christmas grew together with me. It was a moment where I really ponder about the real meaning of Christmas despite the major marketing efforts and commercialization on this season.

Don't get me wrong. I love scrolling down the aisle of the shopping malls beautifully decorated with christmas decorations. Listening to Christmas carols all day long. Watching some Christmas movies and cartoons.

But lets not forget the true meaning of Christmas shall we?
The day where Jesus Christ was born in a stable and .... well you know the story. *winks

So with this, I would love to wish every single one of you BLESSED CHRISTMAS & a very Happy New year~

Tadaima!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Good evening. This is your captain speaking. We have now touch down on Kuala Lumpur International Airport. The local time now is 7.50pm (+8 GMT). The temperature is 30 degrees Celsius and we predict a cloudy night. Please ensure you have all your personal belongings before leaving the plane. We at Thai Airways would like to thank you for flying with us and hope to see you again. Good Night~~

After a wonderful trip from Japan its time to go back home. Damn how time flies and I am really missing my foster family in Japan now. Well to sum up my trip in Japan , Fukuoka. It has been a real interesting one I must say. I visited to a dozen shrines, had a chance to seat in a Japanese lecture in Kitakyushu University and was forced by the lecturer to talk about Malaysia culture, educations and things like that which I did my very best in squeezing every single thing I know about it. =P
Also not forgetting to mention the lovely sea I visited, the food I manage to eat, the very very kind hospitality that was shown, the great companion I had, the wonderful pictures I took, the bloody cold weather I had to tolerate, the drinking of my first Sake, the excitement of taking the train on my own, getting lost in the train station, the first snow in Kitakyushu and the list goes on..

All in all, it was really a great experience and above all meeting my Otosan, Okasan, Katsuhiro, Akiko, Ryoko, Minoha, Ruru and Toro is awesome. If your wondering where are the pictures.. do check out my FB account. =)

Nippon Desu

Konichiwa Minasan... I manage to navigate myself to the land of rising sun again after 5 years. The flight to Japan was a tiring one, I depart from my house at around 5pm to KL Central and got a bus to KLIA at 6pm. Waited for the queue at KLIA to check in which I am convinced it took sooo long till my leg hurts from standing. Did a little browsing in the duty free area and boarded Thai Airways to Bangkok at 9pm. Well the flight to Bangkok was a mere 1hr 45 min so I thought that they would not serve anything during the flight so I got myself a KFC meal prior to the flight. Damn I was wrong.

Arrived at Bangkok at around 11pm and had to wait for 1am local time to board the next plane to Fukuoka,Japan. (FYI, Bangkok is 1 hour later than Malaysia) So I had to wait around 3 hours in the bloody airport.. I was sooo bored and kept myself occupied by walking around and spend most of my time squatting next to the "classy lounge" for VIP`s to steal their free WIFI. ~__"

Now the flight from bangkok to fukuoka is around 6 hours and my clock now shows 2am. So after all those walking and squatting I am bloody tired! I stole the blanket and pillow from the empty seat beside me and the one behind me, and the one behind beside me. =P weeeee~ and made a rather descent comfy corner for me to retire in. OKok.. to be frank it was not really comfy and I was tossing and turning finding the right position for almost 30 minutes before settling in. LOL

I was suddenly awaken by a real sudden shake and I voice cracked from the speakers ="this is your Captain speaking, we are encountering some technical difficulties. Please ensure your seatbelt is fasten and your seat is set upright!" fuck!! AM I GOING TO DIE HERE?　　

nahhhh~ It was just a bloody nightmare and everything is fine. lolx. Gotcha didn`t I? The flight attendant woke me up at 5.30am in the morning for breakfast. Beat that! ROAR! I am tireeeddddd...... damnit.!! Anyhow I touched down in Fukuoka airport safely and manage met with my Otosan and Okasan and Ryoko-san too.. muahahahaha!! I missed them soo much and I was really happy to see them! Yokata ne~

Enough of my babbling! I got to go out now.. Ja Matane~ Will upload loads of picture at FB when I reach KL. Take care folks. Till than... Sayonara.

December Relaxations

Its official, I am no longer employed~ hmmm im UNEMPLOYED!. Yeap, I quit my job and will be travelling around and taking time to think and relax. Embarking on a brand new exciting journey. I needed it badly. =) I had a farewell party will my colleagues last night and it was pretty bizzare. I had my first try on something we called "flaming" not just one, but 3 of it! soooo yea... I can pretty much remember how it taste like now. THank you AWS team for making it a successful one and thank you for support! I do appreciate it. I guess I had to buy them something from the land of rising sun soon.

Its already Saturday and I have not even pack a single thing into that luggage of mine! There are so many things to rush~ presents to bring, clothes to wear, currency to exchange, informing my dear Nippon Jin friends, polishing my camera skills so I dont make a fool out of myself there, thinking what on earth to do in Bangkok during the long transit, have a crash course on Japanese language.. and the list goes on~

I'll take as many beautiful pictures as possible, and will definitely update you readers on my journey to Japan.
So with this. This marks the official launch of December Relaxations theme! Weeeeee~~

Let it pass

When all the signs went wrong
and when everything is in reverse
You feel perfectly like a deadbeat

You know you can't keep lettin' it get you down
And you can't keep draggin' that dead weight around.
If there ain't all that much to lug around,
Better run like hell when you hit the ground.

When the morning comes.
Let it go, this too shall pass. I hope

Controversial issues on Insurance and MLM ..

ARE YOU REALLY PREPARED FOR INSURANCE or MLM BUSINESS?
(Are you a fresh grad who end up getting a dead end job where you're working to make SOMEONE else rich?) It looks long, but does it hurt to open your eyes to another point of perspective? Read on ....

Looking at an innocent fresh young grad that dreaming to become a millionaire is being lured into an Insurance and MLM business by a pretty young direct seller makes me thinks of my past. Everyone wants to become a millionaire, or have a better living, a luxury car and a bungalow. Specially the freshly young graduates, eagerly to achieve a classy status might be the main drive for them to join into a GET RICH QUICK SCHEME. Due to some influences from Robert Kiyosaki’s series of books, since college I have been Dreaming of becoming an entrepreneur, becoming a millionaire, care about my own business, having a better living for me and my family. As soon as I graduated, I was introduced by some friends about Insurance and direct selling (there still weren’t any fancy words like ‘network marketing’ that time, and now they even called themselves ‘ENTREPRENEUR’ :-D), where you were told that you could make millions as you join the business, and you can work Full-time or part-time and very flexible hours (oooo, sounds tempting).
Yes, I won’t deny that Insurance or MLM business can make you a fortune, gives you a better living. In fact, since the introduction of Insurance and MLM, it created lots of millionaires around the world, and they always say its a PROVEN CONCEPT. The question comes to whether if you are prepared for it yet or you are suitable for it . I have joined and tried a few and personally, I THINK NOT EVERYONE BELONG THERE unless you have right connections and the skills. So don’t hesitate to quit before wasting your time for years. It may just not your cup of tea. So before you join, considered these sacrifices:
1. Are you prepared that your friends/ families (specially your closest ones) will reject your offer, and start running away from you.
2. Are you able to tolerate the overwhelming and unnecessary SPIRITUAL style of motivations ceremony held weekly, everyone is like a hypnotherapist continuously brain washing you again and again, persuading you to become the next HYPNOTHERAPIST. (You will hate this the most, but you can’t deny their determinations and passion. I salute)
3. Are you willing to go all out, LEAVING your VALUEABLE CAREER and SKILLS behind and make a fortune in this field. (In order to succeed in Insurance and MLM, I suggested you go all out focusing on what you should do, where else you will not go anywhere)
4. Are you prepared to work your entire life with Insurance and MLM? (MLMers will tell you that you need not work when your network is established and you will be earning a passive income monthly. and I DON’T THINK that is entirely true. There is no free lunch in this world. No matter which level you have succeed in Insurance or MLM, you will still need to work for it. And it is NOT easy)
5. Are you prepared to take the blames from the person you recruited under you when things gone hay wired or you quit half way. (If you have caught in the most recent Get-Rich-Quick Scam such as you might feel the pain in the ass)
6. Please get your family support or a mutual agreement, your spouse specially. (I have seen husband and wife filed a divorce due to unsupportive relationships since one of the party involved in Insurance or MLM).

I don’t want agents or MLMers to reply this post with hatred.
Insurance agents or MLMers are businessman. and NOT entrepreneur, though they claim they are. The founders of the Insurance or MLM company is, but not the MLMers that follows trends that the founder created. To differentiate Entrepreneurs with Business Man, please read this post. There is no free lunch.

"Selling insurance is more and more difficult from time to time due to more players in the market. The golden time was in 1990s".


INSURANCE COMPANIES PLAY MAJOR ROLE IN RAISING MEDICAL COST AND THE COST OF LIVING
The basic concept of any insurance is this. You know that this world is precarious. You know that there are no guarantees for safety in health, finances or any other commodity. You know that many of the factors involved in the continuation of your safety are beyond your control, and even those factors within your control are fallible simply because no one is perfect. So, wherever possible and reasonable, you should fortify yourself in the event of calamity.

In ancient times insurance was carried out in the form of storing grain for winter months. In fact, we still do that… but our minds have long forgotten how precarious harvests are.

The logic behind preparing for unknown disasters is not in dispute. What’s to be disputed is that marketing strategies mixed with political tinkering have not only covered basic truths of reality from many people’s minds, it has also created a system that encourages increases in the cost of several industries. Some of those industries, such as the auto industry, are areas where people is forced to pay insurance companies for services they often never use.

The blanket over many eyes is the false security insurance provides. Being prepared for disaster is important… but there is a line beyond which a levelheaded strategist won’t go because the frequency of disasters is so low that paying to defeat a phantom risk is too costly. There are an infinite number of disasters that could happen at any moment… but most never happen because of intelligence and order. If you want to prepare for them all you will end up spending one hundred percent of your time planning to defeat the infinite list of tragedies that could come your way. And then after all that you can have a heart attack and die.

Again, I’m not arguing that being prepared and having a plan to deal with tragedies is wrong. But the insurance companies want you and me to believe that they will protect you from tragedy—when in reality there is absolutely nothing insurance companies can do to protect you from tragedy because they have no bearing on the actions you take in your life. They know that they can’t do anything about it… BUT THEY MARKET THEIR SERVICES AS A FORM OF PROTECTION.

Consider auto insurance. A drunk driver slams into you. Insurance had nothing to do with the other motorist getting drunk… or with you being on the road that night. And if you die… there is nothing that the insurance company can do about it.

The logic is then turned to say that you and I need to carry auto insurance to protect other drivers from us. Again, THERE IS NO PROTECTION. Carrying the insurance does not do anything other than help defray the cost or repairing the damages after the fact of tragedy. Of course this is how it works… BUT MARKETING SCHEME CONTINUE TO MAKE THE INSURANCE SEEM LIKE A PROTECTION FROM DISASTER.

HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE SCAMS TOO because they put it into everyone’s mind that we are entitled to living past one hundred years old; they also increase the cost of health care because of the plans that pass covered patients’ bills onto insurance companies..allowing hospitals to charge extortionately higher for medications that would otherwise cost much less. One manual on reducing hospital costs stated “Hospital costs for medications are notoriously high.” One of the recommendations offered (buying these medications with insurance plans) displays the mental block that people have with this issue—they assume that they are getting the medications cheaper because of insurance when in reality the practice allows pharmaceutical companies and hospitals to raise the cost of medications and treatments… a cost that is passed back to the insurance companies and then right back into the consumer’s lap.

Some types of insurance companies are even forcing doctors to close shop—as in the case of obstetricians that can’t keep up with the rising premiums in malpractice insurance.

Insurance companies are businesses. They exist to make a profit. There’s nothing wrong with that. But THEY PLAY MAJOR ROLE IN RAISING THE COST OF LIVING and in sustaining the increase in cost. Those industries that have snuck through the back door of the legislative process have created a monster in the system that is a giant parasite on the Financial Industry private companies are essentially taxing the American public.

Furthermore, the floor seems to fall out when you consider another fact. In times of major disaster, when a company, family or individual needs the help most—when they really expect all the expense into insurance companies to pay off—insurance companies find ways to fall short on their promises.

One shady tactic of insurance companies is in the fine print of many insurance plans. Oftentimes the consumer was never educated by the insurance companies about lasering, a strategy insurance companies use to limit financial loss by limiting their financial responsibility in costly claims. Lasering allows insurance companies to limit their payments on partially self-funded companies when, for example, the insurance company knows an employee has an expensive illness. See Lasering information.


Entrepreneur.com reported that “small and midsize companies see health-care premiums outpace the cost of their employees’ claims”. The cost is going up… but the services are not.

Tragedy is not something to flirt with. Being prepared to handle it is wise. Requiring financial responsibility among people partaking in hi-risk activities that can harm others is prudent. I don’t recommend banning insurance companies. But I do recommend boycotting most of them and pressuring lawmakers the open their eyes to the cutthroat scams being pulled on the people by the current insurance industry.

To end, I want to quote from the banker who felt offended by me. He wrote, “Insurance companies never know who the next driver is that may cause a 10 car pile up and cost them RM1,000,000. It could be you.” I suppose that’s true. They also don’t know who the next person to steal my wallet will be
There are many things that insurance companies don’t know. But there are a few things they know well… like getting your money. See, insurance companies are good at eating the pie and having it too. Actually, they are good at taking your money and keeping it too. THE ODDS ARE THAT YOU WILL NEVER SEE A RETURN ON THE INVESTMENT YOU’VE PUT INTO THE SECURITY OF INSURANCE COMPANIES.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001555851257

Waiting for the end

I first listened to this song and find it has a unique melody to it. The second time I listened, I paid attention to the lyrics and find it rather meaningful. The third time I listened, combining melody and lyrics I fell in love with it.

I'll dedicate this song to you. Yea to you who is reading this.... a piece of my thoughts.

This is not the end
This is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something emptys within em
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cuz we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it forget it
Let it all disappear

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strenght to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control

Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn't so

What was left when that fire was gone
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on

And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
Picking up those pieces now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again

All I wanna do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

ON the first page of our story, the future seems so bright
ON the way up there, I got to let go
It seems so not right, so maybe Im a massacre
It seems I have lost my mind, when a smile turned into a cry
When the curtains falls on the stage, I'll take my bow
The last cry will go along with my luggage,
Never thought things would turn out so evil,
I brought it to new extreme .. ..
This tug of war I have to win.
I got to win

Angels

Here we Go…!
I’m looking at an angel
And believe me when I say
She got that whole place blowing
She got that whole place glowing
I’m looking at an angel
And believe me when I say
She got that whole place glowing
And she’s high in the sky singing
Way above the clouds in the sky singing
She got wings she got a halo
It seems to me so unnatural
Cos that’s one thing that I just don’t know
What seems to be so incredible
She looked at me took me by surprise yeaaahh
As if she took me by the hand to some foreign land
And had me way up
Way above the clouds in the sky singing
Singing my song yeah yeah
From dust til dawn yeah yeah
I know you got a lot on your mind
But it won’t be long yeah yeah
It always get better yeah yeah
And I may be wrong yeah yeah
Some never get it across the line before they make it home yeah yeah
Singing my song yeah yeah
From dust til dawn yeah yeah
I know you got a lot on your mind
But it won’t be long yeah yeah
It always get better yeah yeah
And I may be wrong yeah yeah
Some never get it across the line before they make it home yeah yeah

Angel-Akon

In Preparations

Let the trumpets play, let the drums roll, let the applause be heard! Cause Im so leaving you....

oh yea! Im officially handing in my resignation letter tomorrow. The 4th of November! As I was typing my letter in the office~ SHHHH... don't let them know. I was really figuring the proper words to write. It is my very first resignation letter, was a really nervous when I typed it, I dont know why it sounded so formal. XD
Well, I would say working in Albert Wines & Spirits was a real eye opener. I did learn quite alot of new stuff, gained loads of experience especially when it comes to handling people and alcohol of course~ Remembering the first 1 month of my work I was really enthusiastic on giving in new ideas to market some wines. But I guess the company didn't really know where I fit in as a marketer. Being in a "chinamen" company who doesn't believe much in marketing my role was really constraint. All that matters was really profit, sales, collection and thats pretty how the company runs.

The importance of marketing has been overlooked and was not paid sufficient attention to. Being the youngest in the company comes with some in born responsibility if you get what I mean. Your job scope all of a sudden expands from being a marketer to a general clerk, and all the way down to be a bell boy. Pfft... Well, in a way, i get to interact with all level of people. From the managerial level all the way to the people working in the warehouse. Its interesting to see every single individual job is linked one to another and how sometimes information can be lost between this levels of job. Definitely a system is in place in order to run this multi million dollar company but the system has some terrible flaws which does hurt the company reputation and profit. Being in the company for one year, I don't really see a growth potential in it. Let's say 5 years down the road, if I got the managerial position what difference would it make? It just doesn't provide me the sense of fulfillment being in the company.

Having said that, I must take a bow and thank the company for introducing me to a whole new perspective of thinking and view. Thank you everyone who made me feel like home in AWS, and thank you to those who tried teaching me in your sarcastic rude manner. Goodbye and all the best in your future endeavors.

Now, Im off~ to face a whole new world! Give me your best wishes ~ *winks

Halloween

Yet another day for Party-ing. I guess I am slowly being influenced by the Western culture. Hey NO! MALAYSIA is slowly being influenced by the Western culture. Why? Well its all about MONEY my friend. Think about it, clubs, pubs, restaurants has to most business during weekends, and festive seasons. So by embracing and bringing in the Western festive season like St Patrick's day, Halloween, October Fest constantly keeps us in the party mood. VOila! We just had another excuse to party don't we?
Being in the alcohol industry I can see that is that during this season the sales sail sky high. Congratulations Albert~ You just got yourself a few extra million! and Im still stuck with my same old salary! Time to give me an incentive don't you think? Share the love old man =)

Anyhow, I was never a huge fan of Halloween and it was on this same date, I left Great Britain in bound for Malaysia. And its on this date, I touched down back in Malaysia. It has been exactly 1 year. I wonder how did I actually made it through this 1 year. I wonder where I would be exactly one year from now? Where would you be in 1 year time?

Happy Halloween peeps!

Sun, Sand, Sea

With my recent company trip to Kuantan, I hereby mark the beginning of many trips to come! Woooot! Well, it was not my first time to Kuantan but my last trip was ages ago and I pretty much forgotten what was Kuantan like. Slept like a baby throughout the 3.5 hours journey which really was the effect of staying up late with ma mates at a pub the previous night. =P

Arrived at Kuantan around 11.45am and manage to check into Hyatt Regency Hotel at noon~ Just in time to feed the noisy stomach of the whole team which has started growling like a lion. The view of the sea was beautiful, I did try my best to imagine that the sea water was crystal clear. But I failed~ Nevertheless, the smell of salt water filled my nostrils and the soft breeze hit my face. As I was enjoying the buffet lunch, I sat there in awe and enjoyed the magnificent view of the sea. The sun was hanging right up high, the clouds were shy revealing the baby blue sky. I allowed myself to seat a little longer at my seat eating ice cream. It was a really hot day.

I spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying the gym facilities, the swimming pool and of course team building with my colleagues. It is a great way to increase the bonds and relationships between employees which is really the purpose of the trip. Hah! Well before I know it night fell as we gathered for a sumptuous BBQ dinner. A wide array of prawns, stingrays, steaks, chops was being served and when such a feast is prepared the only thing missing was alcohol. Boy oh boy~ we had brought some great wines both white and red to be consumed and I can practically see everyone loosen up after cheers-ing a few round. I have lost track of how many crates we finish but we really did drank alot~ Well not so much for me but our company store personnel and drivers were downing the wines and followed by whisky. Salute!

I grabbed my favorite white wine and made my way down to the beach. I sat on the beach alone with a glass of wine enjoying the beautiful display from mother nature. It was perfect~ perhaps its the wine that made everything flawless. It was a full moon and the reflection of the moon on the sea was bedazzling! I mean really!! It was for a moment the sea was filled with zillions of diamonds shining. NO I wasn't drunk! Just a little "happy" ...

A pity~ a companion would have made everything perfect...

Reality and Fantasy

Reality and Fantasy, is there a difference between this two words? Perhaps some of you without thinking shout back that OF COURSE there is a difference between this two words. I am rather confuse sometimes, often unable to differentiate between fantasy and reality. You might say reality is something that is actual or true, that exist in the real world. On the other hand fantasy is merely a thought, a dream exist only in the mind and not in the real world.
I don't know about you but I find myself thinking what if I was put into this position, what if this would happen, what if that wouldn't happen, if only I could do this and that, and the list goes on. Not knowingly this has became a form of dream for me, slowly dreaming and wondering off into dream land and the best part there are multiple outcome all within my control. Is this a form of visualization? I would say yes. A few years back I was reading something rather interesting called "The secret", it shares the concept of visualization. It says if we visualize and believe certain things would happen than YES it will happen a.k.a Law of Attraction. How true is this I have yet to give you a certain answer to that. But I do believe that the human mind is capable of complexity beyond what we think we are capable. To me fantasy and reality is connected by a bridge called - action.

Why do fairy tales always end “and they lived happily ever after”? Is that what makes them fairy tales? What did these six words at the end of a story mean to you as a child? Think for a moment…

Happy ending is not a fairytale and does not exist in fantasy alone.. connect fantasy into reality and it will start flowing.

100th post- Backpack

Wow! Not knowingly this is my 100th post on this little blog of mine. Thank you for the supports the comments and the reading all of you have took time off to digest this. Hopefully I`ll start blogging some interesting experience soon. I`ll be quitting my job soon! YAY! take some time off to tour Asia. I`ll definitely keep this blog alive with the travelling I am going to do. I just cant wait to embark on this journey... with my backpack... and the world. Im going to embrace your culture.

So folks.. stay tune. I`ll be writing blogging some updates soon.. COming up next~ Journey to the East

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say - you're right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten, twice as shy
If I'm proud, perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to loose you again

Yes, I will.
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper...
I think I better leave right now

10.10.10

October for me - a month where I set my dreams and set a path that I would walk along. Equipped with a hell of a flashlight walking down this bitter cold unexplored road. Yes, I have decided a few things and start processing my decision into actions. Isn't life an adventure and filled with options? We all have options don't we? and sometimes, making this decision means sacrificing certain aspect of our leisure, time or something in exchange. Perhaps the skills of Embracing the situation perhaps is really one of the most important skills we should learn,... somehow, someway in your own unique way deal with it.

2 days ago it was the 10th of October in the year of 2010 -10.10.10. An auspicious date where a good friend of mine celebrated his 23rd birthday. What he said to me startled me and allowed me to actually think a little of what I have done. He is someone who had great expectations in life and it seems lately he has been going through alot that actually dampens his spirit. I'm not saying that he gave up but he perhaps need sometime to get back up and continue on with his journey. What came out from his mouth took me by surprise "Marvin, actually I have yet to achieve something successful in my life, I have set 10.10.10 as a goal but now looking back I don't think I have achieved much." Its this words that suddenly hit me and kept me thinking back, how much have I achieved so far? erm... nothing? =( Yes, I have goals, I have dreams but the important question is have I achieved them? no.. again

Perhaps the month of October where I set the theme as - Dreams. it shall be about putting those dreams into action and achieving them and not merely building castles in the air. I know a few of you who are reading this might have your own dreams and with dreams comes challenges. It comes hand in hand my friend. Perhaps its some financial challenges, you are sick somewhere, your are forced to go through a path that is both tiring on the mind and body. Whatever it is we are facing, I believe that if we hold on. If we just adapt and embrace the situation making the best out of it and stop giving excuses, we will come out of it.

The Show

Its kind of funny, there's this particular song. It made me really happy when I'm happy and really sad when I'm moody. or perhaps its not the song? Perhaps its the reflection of the situation. Perhaps its merely coincidence. Still, its been ages and even losing my business deal does not make me feel this way.
Its like entering a free fall,
When your body can't cope up with the gravity,
Your heart is choking you right up your throat
Right now you feel your neither here nor there
Indulgence is probably the way out for the time being
and, the funny part whenever I trackback to the source
I always see you standing there.
Yea... you I started and never can possibly end

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop--
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I am just a little guy lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go, can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Just enjoy the show oh oh oh

-The Show, Lenka

October

August Blues, September Rains ... October is a couple of days away.
Questioning what's October theme?
Bitter cold breezes blew past me along with time and I realize life's just a joke and death is just a destination we are all walking to. Between the period of journeying from different spaces and phases while our body rot by the days. Deteriorating....
Often trap, a captive of our own memories. Now, as I finally leave on my own jorney, I wonder if I will see you on the other side again. After all the boys and girls that we’ve been through. Would I give it all up? Could I give it all up?

Oh babe where art thou heart? Lost thy hope slandered across the barbed wires between the border fences of fantasy and reality. Happiness is from within, and if we ever place this completely on an individual hands it will rot. True happiness comes from yourself, not from anyone else. So don't let anyone tell you what you can't achieve. You have something in mind.. go grab it.

October ..... Dreams

Speech-less

I can’t believe what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I’ll never talk again
Oh girl you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

I can’t believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreamsa

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
She's gonna get you and after she’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

I’ll never talk again
Oh girl you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless

I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

Hooow?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
Wow

Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
Wow

And after all the drinks and bars that we’ve been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and girls that we’ve been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?

If I promise to you girl
That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along

I’ll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?

Will you ever talk again?
Oh girl, why you so speechless?
You’ve left me speechless

Some women may follow me
But you choose “death and company”
Why you so speechless? Oh oh oh

- taken and edited - LadyGaga, Speechless

Nature dreams

Who leaves the Seeds?
For you to find?
Follow him and you will see
a Treasure there...

Then plant the seeds...
And help them Grow...
It may seem like a dream..
But things are not what they seem..
Now begins a new adventure for you!

Living in the forest trees
For such a very very long time..
There you'll be in your dream
In that furry cozy bus

Rain Tumbles down..
The bus is Late..
Don't be afraid..
Just open your umbrella wide
Your umbrella for him..
watch him play in the rain..
Now begins a new a new adventure for you!

Faith of a Master seed, Can move mountains

Think when you were still a kid
Everything was POSSIBLE
You put the blanket over your back - then you became superman
You take your mom's broom and ride on it - then you became a witch
You climb up the tree not knowing that you might fall
You simply MADE IT, you back then had the passion, faith of succeeding
You just had an IDEA and made it happened because you BELIEVE
You were then, creative with a strong believe
You were fearless and concentrated on your believes
As you became an adult, things seems to be a little different
When you failed in your EXAM
You think " I can never make it"
When you hit the slumps,
Then you think "maybe I'm not cut out for this"
When you want to start a business, you think "maybe it's not as easy"
When you are already in the business,
You heard someone says do not take risk
Then when you have that brilliant idea
That can create more jobs for the poor,
Create a better future for yourself.. for everyone else
And you said " I am not sure"
You are still creative but with more doubt
Years later, you heard someone had the same idea as you and succeeded
His action - He puts his idea into reality
The you started to think,
How I wished I had taken actions that years ago
Think when you were a KID
If that idea came by when you were still a kid,
could you have taken action?
Back then, you strongly believe
Miracle's happens, you still CAN if only you believe and have faith

- taken & adapted from Adcom

Game

Out of the game
Not in my game no more
Your the new Marshall
Creating your own game plan

Make your rules thats the 1st step of the play
Above all rule always remember that safety rules
Dice not with your rules
Stand your ground

Every game is running the same platform
Both Fun and Danger is around the corner
It can be deceiving, it can be simple
Be careful of trolls and jokers and don't go game over


When you hear the sound of trumpets
During the rise of the sun
Clouds dazzling white like candy floss
A picture perfect scene you`ll find.

You`ll then know
The game has come to an end
And you`ll forget the game
Along with everything else....

1. 2. 3.....

Woke up with bloodshot eyes,
So here I go and there you went
With all the brilliant things I said
I just have the reasons and don't have the time
I gotta get away, find something to do
Everything I hear, everything I do reminds me of you

Still counting and counting the days pass
Still counting and counting the days left
Beautiful creature learn to grow ur wings
Show me your metal and rise like never before
Shall be watching from afar

Day one, was no fun
Day two, i hated me
By day three I wish I was away
Day four, five and six, my mind was blank
Day seven, this is hell. this is hell
I gotta get away, and find something to do

Malaysia.. Merdeka?

Every year of my life on the 31st August I was reminded again and again by my beloved Malaysia has achieved independence. The sacrifices once made by thousands and thousands of individual with their lives to make this a reality, I respect that. Looking back, we have came quite a long way so it seems. I stand proud being a Malaysia, NO really. Coming from a country with a diverse culture and race uniting and leaving in a single community. Not too long ago, the government of Malaysia came up with a slogan "1 Malaysia" conveying the message ... hmm what does it convey again? I wonder.
Well lets see what Dr Mahathir has to say - "I have spoken to Malays and Chinese and they have totally different opinions which cannot be reconciled ... they seem to have their own interpretations. As such, the government must explain to the people the actual meaning of the 1Malaysia concept and make its stand on the matter" <- NST Aug 3rd, 2010.

So there you have it! No wonder I have no idea what 1 Malaysia really means. Ever since I was young I often hear the out cry with all the special privileges catered to only the Bumiputra`s. So much so that I have accepted that this is just a part of my life. I have seen countless speeches by individuals voicing their opinion on this discrimination, just youtube it and Im pretty sure you`ll be entertained for hours. But has the voices been really heard?
Even with this, I came to love the country I grow up in. I am very much a Malaysian just like you sharing this land with all Bumiputra`s, we share the same sky, share the same food, share the same school, share the same bus, share the same workplace and yet why is there still such a huge gap between us?

I stumbled upon a write up which I find rather disturbing
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=432073840741&id=586500176
, I just don't understand why is there some people out there who are still so racist, and Im surprised its the young lads who actually did this. Just imagine the chain reaction of this stupid actions causing public discomfort, fear of their own safety of being struck down by another fellow Malaysian. Have we not learn from the May 13 incident that resulted hundreds of lives lost and mayhem throughout the country?

"The eruption of violence on May 13 was the result of an interplay of forces... These include a generation gap and differences in interpretation of the constitutional structure by the different races in the country...; the incitement, intemperate statements and provocative behaviours of certain racialist party members and supporters during the recent General Election; the part played by the Malayan Communist Party (MCP) and secret societies in inciting racial feelings and suspicion; and the anxious, and later desperate, mood of the Malays with a background of Sino-Malay distrust, and recently, just after the General Elections, as a result of racial insults and threat to their future survival in their own country' ”

— Extract from The May 13 Tragedy, a report by the National Operations Council, October 1969

Lets just hope Malaysia will turn for the better soon =)

I'm not very sane

Childish! Judged?! You don't even know me!
So deep it hit me, is it merely an act of desperation?
Questions came, started to question my actions
I see my motionless body beside me.
Very much fighting to be alive

They care less as long there is someone to bleed
I am so afraid to walk this road
Where art thou my leaning pole
Angels of happiness do you exist
Proof to me that you are real
Come reside within me because they will never know
They will never know what comes before happiness
Fading away just like the Autumn leaves

I was questioned countless times,
Binded to a paperless contract,
Where is my heart?
Is there anything to change that art...
I'm almost reaching the brim

Angel's come and ignite the fire that once burn so brightly in the dark
The history - I smiled
The future - I cried
I yearn for you unknown person

Catalyst

The Catalyst

Good Evening peeps. I trust most of you have plans tonight - its Saturday night! Perhaps you might be heading on for a wonderful dinner with friends and family, or perhaps taking this weekend opportunity to retreat to your favorite countryside hideout away form the bustling buses and heavy traffic, or you just finished working heading to a nearby bar to chill. Its amazing to see each individual having their own plans and can be at different places geographically but there is still a constant connection with others. This might not make sense but it really amuses me knowing that I am typing this and you at this very moment can be catching a movie or playing sports or even up in the mountains far away and somehow we are connected. A very special connection that generates a sense of wonder. Wondering what are you doing now? Wondering if what we are all doing now will shape the future? Perhaps in the next few seconds to come, or the next few hours, days, weeks, months or even years and centuries to come. In response it than creates a series of emotion - curiosity and even a sense of missing someone.
I came to a thought, thinking we have our time and all of us have the same equal amount of time. Given the same amount of time we can do whatever we want to do with it which will eventually in a way contribute to what will happen next and this very reaction will generate another series of actions. So what I am doing right now which is wondering what I am doing now will actually in a way change what will happen in the next few minutes and the change that will take place in the next few minutes will create a whole series of actions and perhaps even affect others. Do you follow? Well anyway its just a deep thought I am having right now.

By the way there is one song I would like to share with you people. A wonderful song and the melody is really catchy~
Well have a great weekend everyone and stay safe! People who are planning to party hard. PARTY hard!! but don't ever drive drunk after that, make sure you sober up. Police are everywhere =) Peace out ~


Linkin Park - The Catalyst
God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under a loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun
No

God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under a loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun
No

And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light
(God bless everyone
We're a broken people living under a loaded gun)
Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

God save us everyone
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns
For the sins of our hands
The sins of our tongue
The sins of our fathers
The sins of our young
No

God save us everyone
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns
For the sins of our hands
The sins of our tongue
The sins of our fathers
The sins of our young
No

And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light
(God save us everyone
Will be burn inside the fires of a thousand suns)
Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

Lift me up
Let me go
16x

God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under a loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun
No

God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under a loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun

Keep walking

Raindrops falls as the old bird cries
Hey, remember me
I remember you walking away..
In between your transition

So many nights,
I stared at the ceiling
Wondering what made what it is today
How did I come here

Wondering aimlessly in the forest
Its eerily quite
Is there anyone.. walking with me?
My mate, care to share that compass?

Gimme an excuse to stay
Its so hard to take courage
In a world where you can loose touch with people
So.. show me a rainbow here now

*smiles

Be Happy
Show Up, Follow your heart
Find a new Perspective
Have a sense of wonder..
Find ppl you love.
Set goals, Help others and dance
Pamper yourself
Face your fears
Go to a museum
Exercise
Limit Television
Get in touch with mother nature
Lighten up and get a good night's sleep
Read book and get yourself flowers
Don't compare yourself and beat yourself up
Be open to new ideas
Don't focus on negative thoughts... instead focus on creating your desires
Make time just to have fun
Keep the romance in your life
Make a gratitude list
Love your mother earth
Want what you have
and ... be true to yourself

Sing with me

getting drunk is our priority
teasing all of you is my goal
recording everything down is my mission
everyone being happy together is my vision
bonding together is happiness
.. krekrekre.. Oh yea.. check out this new lovely song by Wong Li Hom(王力宏)


王力宏 - 你不知道的事

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地
我飞行 但你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你
你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨
碎了满地 在心里清晰
你不知道我为什么狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事
蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地
我飞行 但你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你
你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨
碎了满地 在心里清晰
你不知道我为什么狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事
我飞行 但你坠落之际
你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨
碎了满地 在心里清晰
你不知道我为什么狠下心
多的是 你不知道的事
盘旋在你看不见的高空里

flashback

Its That time of year again. Where muslim all around the world fast and pray also known as the holy month. Puasa~ Brought up from a multicultural environment I looovveee the month of fasting, because during "buka puasa" (when the muslims break fast <- YES! 2 words!) the muslims will have this bazaar thing along the roadside. Its such a huge event where not only muslims go there to get their food in preparation to break fast. But non-muslim like me are eager to be there to join in the crowd. Buying delicious food at a cheap price! muahahaha! Feeding myself like a pig. Last year this time I was still in the Uk and missed out the fun, so this year... bazaar and muslims out there. Im officially issuing all of you a warning. I will be terrorizing the food stalls with no mercy, and it will be twice as great cause I missed out last years =D.

Well, not only the fasting season is here but the ghost festival is here. Well I was never a believer on this kind of things but I learn to respect all religion and their practices. Its really interesting to see people burning offerings for their "brothers" by the road, and build this massive colorful castle the size of 4-5 cars stacked together and later on burn them. Stages are setup and performance will be performed to the spirits which the chinese believes will be watching.

Coincidentally, the mooncake festival is just around the corner. Yet another chinese festival where we eat mooncake and play with lanterns. Its the time where shops are decorated and filled with lanterns with all type of design imaginable! I mean seriously! We have the shape of traditional lantern all the way to Pokemon characters like my all time favorite Pikachu and Ultraman. Boy oh boy~ I remember when I was a young kid I would be dragging my mum into the shops staring on the ceiling which are hanged with lanterns and begging my mum to get me one of those really cool lanterns. oh yeah! not to forget about mooncakes!! One of my favorite food! I love the lotus flavored mooncake without the eggyolk in the middle of course. It absolutely perfect.

arh~ during the past few years I have been enjoying this festive season in Malaysia with friends and family. A special someone will never fail to use her cooking skills and impress me. Fortunate me~ Every year I would look forward to this festive season to taste her wonderful bakery skills which I really admire. This very year and also for the years to come, things will just not be the same again.
Festive season will just not be the same for me...

Woah! Hold your horses mate! Not going to that part of my life now... Im taking things at it is. Sei Guai Lou! Bring it on! Give me your best shot! *punches in the air and doing shadow boxing. Noticed my blog has taken quite a change eh? From riddles and short sentences back to the essay style. *yawnz.. Oh WAIT! Wishing everyone Selamat Berpuasa, Happy Mooncake Festival and Stay safe!

Im signing off~
Peace out mates*

O Dear Toiletries

If you walked into a pharmacy (Watson, Guardian)5 years ago and you walk into a pharmacy today you will notice a huge difference in the toiletries section. Oh have you noticed it? Out of no where, emerged a huge array of "For Him" toiletries which 5 years ago "For Her" toiletries dominated the shelf~ Well not so true now isn't it?

Have to admit that most of my toiletries were purchased by my mum (toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, facial wash, etc), but since I am working now.. I decided to get my own toiletries instead. Lo and Behold, I was greeted by a whole new wide range of products. I acted calm and cool while quickly browsing through the, wait! let me count 5,10,20,30 or so different kinds of facial wash! I was stunned for a moment and didn't know how or what to choose. There was Garnier, Loreal, UrbanMan, Nivea and bla bla bla. Each brand sub divided into more varieties! @_@ Im dizzy~~
Now if you know me really well and have been shopping with me, you`ll find me a real pain in the ass because I cant bloody choose between such identical products and there is soooo many of them! I remembered dragging a few friends to get my CNY clothes and boy I spend 2 hours in the outlet and couldn't make up my mind on which clothes to buy, my mates were cursing and cursing and even recorded the damn thing down. Well if your hoping for me to upload the video, you can put it to a rest because there is just no way it will be online~
Back to the story~ so there I was. Standing on the aisle staring at the products and they just stared back. Have I told you that there are facial whitening and even some rolls to reduce eye bag for men now? Woah! I am impressed!
After spending a good whole 30 minutes staring at the products, I know this is going no where! Hence, I decided to take things in a more strategical way. I chose a single facial wash product from every single brand and went - EEnie Miny Minie Moh, Quickly choose a product or get em all. Bravo! I grabbed my choice and quickly squeezed my way to the counter and slammed it on the table with a beaming face. There! That was not too bad at all, ain't it? =) Kudos to me for doing a great job!

White as the snow, White is my wine

Ahhh .. after a whole day in the office facing managers and colleague. You retire back to your cozy cove, a nice warm long bath and you smell really nice with the scent of shampoo still lingering every time you stroke your hair.
I ran my fingers along my dear Sophie, I missed her shiny soft skin. She shined brightly in the dark and I can see from her eyes she missed me dearly too. =) She sang some soft beautiful songs to me while I walked to the fridge and helped myself to a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from Marlborough.
The aroma of the wine fills the air, and I give it a quick swirl held it close to my nose and almost immediately the aroma hit me like a speeding truck. It was absolutely beautiful, I took a little sip and held it in my tongue and I can feel the magic working in my mouth. The mineral taste of the grapes just explodes. ahh Yes! I can feel the strawberry taste in my mouth, its a fruity wine with a long finish. The way I like my wines.
I felt like blogging, so here I am with my beloved Sophie accompanying me, awww how sweet of her. With a glass of lovely wine, soft music, I ran my fingers on dear Sophie and she seems to love it. =)
Time just walked past me and I sipped my last mouthful of wine.. How I wish I had more. Thank you father mother for stealing my wine away from me. My dad`s really old school thinking Im addicted to alcohol. How is that possible? Well Im not going let me ruin my lovely evening...
I ran out of wine, so I guess I will just stop typing and head to my bed. lovely lovely bed. Tomorrow is a Friday, perhaps I will need all my energy for tomorrow. *winks
I had fun with Sophie and of course, right now in my head there a few person I am thinking of. My dear beloved friends, I wish some of you were here right now with me sipping wine. Well .... tonight is definitely a wonderful night. Good night my fellow readers. Cheerio~~

August Blues

I cant believe it! Its bloody August already. Looking back I have been back in Malaysia for 9 months and has been working for 8 months! Over the months I got to learn a few important lessons, fell down a couple of times but never fail to get back up and hopefully matured a little. Life is like heaven and hell a mixture of both, its like pure dark chocolate. In the depth of bitterness you`ll find a little sweetness and its because of the bitterness that we taste it compliments the sweetness very well. Ain't it very much like life? We go through downs in our journey yearning for some sweetness and its because of the endurance, patience, hardship that makes success even sweeter? Life's not fair? I know! =) But than again if you think, what makes you think life is suppose to be fair? Whoever told you that everyone will be treated equally and given the same opportunity? It is only the tiny humans on planet earth who dictate preach about fairness trying to make the world a better place by promoting "fairness". In sports we often see judges and linesman playing the game by the rules. Why? because it ensure fairness in a competition. So at a very young age the word "fairness" has been infused in our mind. Thinking life is just like sports, everyone is suppose to live by the rule, given equal opportunity and compete fairly. But really does this philosophy applies in life? Is there a commandment by our heavenly father in heaven saying that Life is suppose to be fair? In reality it doesn't exist.. Each of us individuals are created unique and not one of us are the exact same, but all of us are created for a purpose. It is for that very one purpose God throw challenges at us, so that we may learn from our downfalls and appreciate life better.

Gosh, I am going to stop right there or this will turn into a Sunday sermon. =P Yea, I made a couple of important decisions for the past few months and its putting me to wonder if I made the right decision. Well a decision has to made and since I made it I guess only time will tell.
Taking a peep at the future, I think 2011 is going to be pretty lonely and dull. Perhaps its a blessing in disguise! =) Perhaps I predicted it wrong .. fingers crossed and on kneeling knees. Cheerio~ I have a feeling I`ll be seeing you here back at my blog pretty soon. *winks.. to you who is reading now on the other side of the screen. Take good care and I`ll be seeing you around pretty soon. =)

Chooo Choo

Your waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away.
You cant be sure where it will take you, but it doesn't matter anymore
Seating on the platform, holding a bottle of scotch in hand
You find yourself alone on the train with no one you know
Have you put in your all? because sometimes your all is simply not enough
The platform slowly disappear into the smokes along with my smiles
That seed I planted needs nurturing and care to bloom
Unfortunately, I see it dying
Had you tried harder had you stop making excuses
Things might end very differently, happy ending perhaps is gone forevermore
You See, there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo.
It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.
Like a photo frame hanging on the wall
Rainbow crayons lying on the floor
Color your gray scale life, things never will be the same.
With every goodbye we learn, don't we?
So, goodbye

Confusion

Your hot and your cold,
Is it your work or is it me?
I will be standing on the sidelines,
Together with the cheering team

Are you in a war?
Mentally and emotionally stressed
Hurt and wounded
Praying for the medic`s to be there.

Feeling the numb from the night
Intoxicated a little too much
Don't even remember what flew out
But I know I have to stand back

One thing recalled, thank you for not ignoring
It calmed the tidal waves that was brewing
Grey spots you shall not stand
Just open your mind and spill everything onto the sand

Let the moment be sober
I`ll take it and make a wonder
So come and be honest
Im running out of time and I wont make a blunder

Memoirs

Untuk selama-lamanya, kaulah kenangan terindahku.


Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun
Aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu, kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

-kenangan terindah - samsons

soft dreams

What if the play never stop?
Will it be better?

Ignorance is Bliss I was once told
Tip tap down the aisle
Knock knock on the door
It never open

Turn around rejected
Sunset with the rain
Knock knock on the door
Once again it never open

Autumn came, along with winter
Cold and hungry
I yearn for the day when the angel smile
Shining on to me.


For that day, Choirs will sing
Bells will ring
Walking on clouds
to a place with new wonders I'm heading

Happy Ending?

"Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love"

-Happy Ending, Mika

Ranting

Dark clouds filled the sky
Sun is shying for today
It poured like a fountain
Like the one in the hole in my heart

The rain has finally came to a halt,
Revealing the great blue sky
I wonder why its still raining within me
Where art thou clear blue sky?

I walked along a path
some of my friends start to judge
Am I wrong to choose
Should I have just continue the play

What you see is just apparent
Do you even care to go in depth my so called friend?
you`ll know this someday
When your on the brink with nothing left

so please...
Understand n don't judge easily
Give me a smile from within
I`ll absorb it and show u mine =)

One last Cry

It will come a day,
I`ll seat on that bench alone,
When the sun will not shine
Feel heaven`s cry
Pouring on me, pushing to move on

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are scattered on the floor
I give my best to you
Wishing all my feelings are gone

But just let me have one last cry
Before I leave them all behind
I got to put this out of mind
I know I have to be strong

But gimme this one last cry
One last cry for memories sake
Nothing I can do
I guess we could never had agree

One last cry
Im going to dry my eyes
I had all my luggages
Because Im down to my one last cry

-Mnpl,2010

Shhh... can you hear the sounds of violin?
Shhh... can you hear me humming the melody?
Shhh... my heart is thumping
Shhh... see with your ears wont you?
Come close, and feel my warmth
I`ll glow in the dark
Hold on tight, it wont be easy

Tired.. worn out.. politics everywhere
I will be back strong,
Heading right for you,


"I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kind of boring
Need something that i can confess

Till all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no, I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that'll like those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm Gonna give all my secrets away

My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like were chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars

And everyday I see the news
All the problems we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album

Got no reason
Got no shame
Got no family
I can`t blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything"
-Secret , OneRepublic

21 Guns

"Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One 21 guns
Lay down your arms give up the fight
One 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky you and i

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One 21 guns
Lay down your arms give up the fight
One 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky you and i

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One 21 guns
Lay down your arms give up the fight
One 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky"

- 21 guns, Green Day

Reflect

I look at you as you look back at me
I see sorrow in the depth of your heart
You hid it well have you not?
Showing it to the close

Your so weak, cant even stand on your feet
I look sadly into your eyes trying to help
How Can I? Its a journey only for you
No one else can help

But wait, there are expectations to be met
Faith, trust on your shoulders
A burden it might seem,
But this are the things that will keep you going

Shall the sun shine again tomorrow
We don't really know
How often have you took take things for granted
Take few steps back and you`ll treasure more

No doubt it will hurt,
No soon will you recover,
No one can help you
Me, You, Us... shall we?

Saturday Afternoon

I woke up to an empty house, stared at the clock wondering what time it is. Well its 12pm and I have slept for a wonderful 9 hours, I am re-energized. Turn on the tele and did some channel surfing before offing it. Perhaps some music will help? Jazz it is, on a wonderful Saturday afternoon. Head over to the kitchen to get a small bowl of porridge, thats my branch. Set down on my chair, eating slowly while the beautiful jazz plays in the background. It was peaceful... the sun is feeling shy today and the weather seems just right. Looked around and the house was pretty clean to me.

Went over to the hall and played with Sophie (my laptop which im using to type this now). She has been so faithful over the years. Love you Sophie!

Well, on such a beautiful day I wonder what is everyone doing? How is she getting along now? It must be pretty tiring to work everyday but ain't it fun over there in a different state? A shame you didn't have your Passport or you could have went over to Singapore. Well I would love to go Singapore soon....

I feel my mind slowly wondering into the future, well I`m pretty bored sulking about my future already so let it be let it be. I will find a way to adapt, thats my specialty. The real question is how soon and how well? This I wonder... I pray to God that if that day may come will it beautiful and guide me through.

Again I slowly look around my empty house, after all I spend more than 14 years here. It was filled with memories... my childhood memories. Looking into the mirror, how have I grown. What have I done in the past few years? Well Im in a real big mess now, ... STOP! lets not go there. Its a Saturday afternoon, let it be relaxing.

Shall I go to the beach? Shall we go to the mountains? Not to far from civilization, I need company - a friend perhaps.
I wonder, how magical it is that every individual is at different place at this moment. Constantly moving around...It amazed me that each person has a destination to go. An appointment to meet, a date to see.. I wonder again those individuals in different part of the world. What are you doing now? Why are you doing what your doing? I feel that we are connected. The air I breath isn't it connected to you? I raise my hand in front of me. Feel the air and wind, doesn't this air and wind connects to you who is reading this now? Feel the little energy in the air being carried around. Take a moment off, and just relax your body mind and soul. Soft musics will help but not sink into depression. But into a state of relaxation. Close your eyes and concentrate on your surrounding. Open your eyes and look at mother nature and feel the connection between everyone. Think of everyone as equal, your managers, your bosses, your superiors, etc. Ain't they human too? Does someone with millions of asset mean anything? Why be intimated by them when we are born in the same form? All they have is extra papers with some person head printed onto it. Im not saying money is bad. Im saying everyone is equal here now.. Why let your life be controlled by this individuals?

This Saturday afternoon .. ahhhhhh.... beautiful.... marvelous....

Note to God

Dear heavenly father,

The world has become so complicated father, so cruel and evil..
Evil roams the streets freely infecting human like bacteria,
I pray, could you please take all evil away?
My friends are suffering from it...

I tried to help, but Im being pushed away.
Again and again father,
Bring this wall of Babylon down,
For I am truly exhausted

Through you all things are possible.
Show me and use me, so may it through me they will see
I`m merely a shell for your great doings,
Let it be beautiful

Evil has consume too much to see the light
But even in the darkest moment,
When all hope seems gone
A stray of light will shine to guide

Father, I remember you telling me
You will never give us challenges that we cant handle
Everything happens for a reason
So that one day - we are ready

So dear father, let them see, let them realize
That you are constantly watching
Ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good

MNS #6

Great! Early in the morning and Im writing MNS, how happy is that?!

Another tear fell down her cheek, her voice chocked while telling me the story. I didn't dare to look at her face this time fearing that I could crumble just by seeing the sadness in her eyes. She fought hard but in the end was left with nothing.
She depended too much, and everyone is paying the price for it. Is she even wrong to depend on someone she love? Unfortunately, I live to experience that. No.. never completely depend on anyone, not even your the one`s closest to you. I hereby stand by my word until one day someone prove me wrong.

What can I do? All I can do now is stand and watch helplessly? Nooooo, its no more an excuse. You can change it, yeah Y.O.U!! Its your duty, its your responsibility. She means the world to me and a single tear in her eyes is enough to shatter me.

Law of the universe hmm? The strong shall remain and the weak shall perish eh? With high risk only comes high return? Lets put it to the test! So gear up, and let the war begin!

When people ask, why are you constantly smiling? Why are you constantly happy? How can you be so cheerful in this evil world?

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

You`ll know what to answer now hmmm?