lost ?

clock is ticking showing 3.30am, most people have slept but I am wide awake. Seating on my bed with my laptop on my lap while listening to some music. Life seems to stand still, time is passing by as I looked at it helplessly. What are u doing with your life? Are you living it?

I have no direction, no resources. There are so many things that has to be done, so many dreams to achieve but everything came to a halt. What is my next move? Curse recession! I want to get on with life. I want to hold dreams in the palm of my hand. I need an opportunity. Someone once told me that opportunity are meant to be created. I have yet to find the wisdom and enlightment...

So many things to do, so many things to try, so many things to experience, so many places to go.

~End~

Spam

Tomorrow and tomorrow... how many tomorrow is there for you? No one ever knows how many tomorrow is there unless your planning on commiting suicide then probably you`ll know ^^P .
What im trying to say is the future is unpredictable. Of course that is why we plan. Plan to do soemthing at a certain time to achieve a certain objective but how often does things goes according to plan? Circumstances, environment changes and we sometime find ourselves off track.. off the plan route. That is why we humans have a wonderful gift called adaptation. Adaptation allowed us to survive; a very important element in life is adaptation. WHy? Take for example the almighty dinasours that once roam the surface of the earth was wiped out because of the failure to adapt. Strong animals like them became extinct!

So often we find ourselves in circumstances and in the midst of a change for the worst. What do we do? We adapt... It changes us, transform us. That is why human has been dominant in this world. We make fire, we defend, we hunt, we create, we invent... we adapt and make the world a better place to live in.

the end of a road and a beginning of another

Sun was shinning brightly down, the sky is blue and the birds are flying around happily. People passing me.. I smiled and observe my environmnet. I can see the ice cream seller selling ice creams to children which happily licking on this beautiful day. The flowers are full bloomed. People from all walks of life on the street. A moment of silence, as i slowly came to realize I have just finished my last exam. I finished my studies.. I was feeling both happy and sad. Amazing? Unique!

God knows what im feeling. I want to shout for joy and cry with pain. Make sense? I bet it doenst... goodness. i dont know what im typing now. Tell you what.. im just going to type everything that i feel like typing. So.. this may not make any sense to you. i apologise for that.

I saw an e-mail, a mail from home, i was touched by the effort of my loved ones. I will do all my best to make your effort worth while. Happy because i have finish my studies.. sad because im going to survive on my own from now onwards. Joining the working force very soon and with gods blessing i pray i will make it big. The world is both cruel and beautiful and I intend to make my life beautiful. Make my life worth living... make it grand.
Not looking back anymore, i want to feel the beauty of life and experience things beyond imagination. Its the beginning of a journey... an adventure which only me will decide the outcome and whatever outcome i would want it will be realized. What is the key to a happy life? Have i found it? Have you found it? Has anyone found it? I despise beings for going down and dragging others with it. I despise beings that hurt my friends. I despise the cruel people on the surface of the earth.... I cant say i have been throught alot and i cant say i have been through little.
Have u ever wonder what lies beyond the horizon? what lies beyond the creation of beings? What lies beyond characters? What lies beyond success? People changes as the environment changes. It evolves and blend.. Somethings changes and somethings will always remain the same. I want to tell you that dont be stupid. I know "it" and "it" is not good, "it" is smart in deception and "it" has lost my respect. Such things are meant for human to discover only throught the hardway. Experience it and enjoy the moment.. dont fall and don get hurt.

Time passes as things begin to mutate.. technology, social, politics, economy, disease, weather. I cant help but notice the wonders of this mutation. Some for the better and most for the worst. Everything that begin must have an end. It is a law, a law that cant be denied..

MNS#3

Life is so much like a huge tree. The moment we were born life is simple and as we walk into different routes in life, made different decisions it become more complicated. Lets observe the nature of a tree, it grew from a tiny seed not knowing the great potentials instore within. From a sapling, it slowly grew strong with the help of the sun and water. As it grew, the tree began to branch out into different branches leading to different directions and each branch tells a story. Ever wonder why trees grow so tall? Ever wonder what kept it going? It kept growing taller and taller competing with other trees to reach the highest point with a single purpose - sunshine. Sunshine gave the tree the strength to live on, the strength to continue striving against the rest, the strength to withstand strong winds and storm. Even facing difficulties throughout its growth, the tree never gave up because it has a passion for the sun, a love for the sun..

Isnt our lifes so similar to the nature of tree? We were born to this world, fragile and innocent yearning for love and care. With the guidance of our love one`s we grew up strong and face a world of competition. Humans are always competing with one another just like the trees. Its nature to give us strength, to give us wisdom and experience so that we are mold into a better person. Look around us. I can see everyone competing for everything - love, money, studies, status, goals, beauty and the list continues.. Of course not every decision we made in life turn out well. The branches of the trees are like decisions we make in life, we make the right choice and it turns into leaves that will prosper and contribute to the growth but if a wrong choice is made the branch of the tree will widdle and die leaving a scar. That scar is a painful memory giving us experience and wisdom that serves as a reminder for us in the future.

Recently, I faced a similar dilemma, not because the fear of making a wrong decision. Its abit too late for that.. but the fear of whether the right choice has been made. The storm and wind are above my head which made the circumstances evolve dangerously. If things turn out not as anticipated, I do not know if I have the strength to continue moving on. If I have the resources to survive........ dark clouds are in the sky, depriving me from the sun and I am holding tight to a thin line called Faith.

Superwoman

Blessed or should i say cursed with three boys in the family, she was stucked with three mischevious beings for the rest of her life. So she thinks..
Looking at their innocent baby faces who just cry for milk, cry for sleep, cry for toys, she never knew that when the children of hers grows up is capable of hurting her. Filled with care and love she nurtured her children, bringing them up and educating them. Times were hard, and she has to struggle in the big ugly world fending for her children making sure we have new clothes to wear for the new year, books to read, sufficient food to eat and yet everyday she came back from work with a smile on her face hiding all the hardship within her. It only became so clear to me now the endurance she has to go through, just to bring the smiles on our face. Seeing us running around happily was enough for her yet in return we often made her angry and dissapointed.

She place her children infront of everyone else, even infront of herself. Days pass as I see myself grow up and suddenly notice the wrinkles on her face deepens. Countless time I have hurt her by making remarks that I regretted, actions made out of anger which only gods know how much it breaks the heart of hers. Amazingly, she never once hated us for what we did, never did she love us less, instead she forgave us every single time. Bringing up three children must be a really hard, she could have given up years ago but she took everything up with a smile on her face.

Days pass, weeks pass and years pass. She saw her children grow up and before she knows it, we were slowly one by one going abroad to study. How did the little babies that once she held in her arms became so big? I do not know if seeing us leaving her side and facing the world brought happiness or sadness to her. She could finally breath easier now with two less children taking off or so what we thought. As I came to the UK and my brother went to Canada to further our studies, i know deep in her she was sad seeing her children leaving. She was worried if we will be able to fend for ourself in this cruel world. Armed with her love and care, mum im sure we will do just fine on ourself. Going back home everyday for mum doesnt seem like other days, it is much quite now. With only my youngest brother around im sure she will miss the times where there were laughter in the house, the noise i blast from my computer, the quarelling of me with my brothers....

I love you mum and I hope I can make u proud someday...

1+1=3

Recently, I have received numerous comments from my beloved group of friends in Malaysia - 1+1=3 group. They mentioned that my blog was like a newspaper!
When i heard this comment i couldnt stop laughing, so I want to know what other people thinks? Should i reduce the number of words and add more pictures? or should i maintain it the way is it now? How do u think this blog can improve?

Please post your comment in reply to this post..
All your comments are really appreciated by me.
Enjoy your day~